Trick
by prion
Summary: Funny OneShot set in "Cognosco." Halloween. This is also the only day in the year when Loki and Tony would agree on a temporary truce in their prank war.


Halloween. Hallows Eve. Candy Day. The one day anyone can dress up in ridiculous costumes and demand candy. This is also the only day in the year when Loki and Tony would agree on a temporary truce in their prank war.

"Ow – ow – it hurts. Be gentle will ya? It's my first time."

Pepper glared at Tony. "If you will stop moving, then I don't have to keep reapplying this. Tony – hold still – I could have poked your eye with the eyeliner just now. Hey, don't look at me like that. You're the one who chose this costume."

Next to him, was someone dressed in a red flame retardant hazmat suit - breathing heavily. Tony tried his best to look without moving his face too much. "Bruce, you don't have to wear that now."

Bruce took off the gas mask and breathed in the cool air. "It's hot in that thing. Why'd you pick this costume again?"

"Eh – I thought it fit you. Go Team RED! Besides, I bought all the costumes, so I get to pick."

Bruce just rolled his eyes. He looked over to Thor and Jane who had just entered the room. Thor was dressed in a metal chest piece with a horned helmet. Jane's costume looked like it might have been Japanese. Bruce thought all that skirt volume was a little too much for a Halloween costume. Her makeup was also very heavy.

"Why don't you two take a seat?" Bruce asked.

Jane crashed down onto another sofa and started to fan herself. "How can anyone wear this?"

Thor looked puzzled. "Tony said it was fit for a Queen - or was it Senator?"

"It is," Tony defended. He blinked as his eyes watered from the eyeliner. Pepper slapped him on the arm to keep him still again.

Bruce scrutinized the dress. "Isn't that from a movie?"

"Maybe. Does it matter? It's Halloween, ok?"

Thor sat down next to Jane and asked his own question. He pointed to his own costume. "Tony, where is this far off land Skyrim?"

Tony purposefully looked away. "Uhh – north of Cyrodiil and west of Morrowind."

Annoyed with the costume, Jane wanted to rub her face but she couldn't with all the make-up. She huffed in annoyance. Her eyes lighted up when she saw Natasha come into the room in a tight leather cat suit. Literally. It even came with black mask and ears.

"Meow," Jane commented.

Natasha frowned and stiffly walked to the rest of the group. "This is tight – the leather hasn't been broken in yet. I can barely bend my legs."

Jane patted to the seat next to her. "Have a seat."

Natasha shook her head. "I think I'll stand for now."

"You say your outfit's tight? What about mine?" Clint complained. He was the next one to join them. He was dressed in green tights, a feathered cap, and a fake mustache. His bow was still strapped to his back though. "Natasha, how did we get assigned into this?"

Natasha's response was rhetorical. "Did you think Fury was going to let Tony and Loki out there without supervision?"

Tony couldn't help but quip, "Huh – I get not one, but two master assassins to babysit me. I think Fury's starting to like me – Oh hey, there's our freedom fighter."

Steve stepped from behind the doorway looking very embarrassed. He was dressed in a kilt and blue was painted on his face. "Tony, this is a skirt."

"No it's not. It's a kilt. Manly men wear it."

Steve walked quickly to join the rest of the Avengers – no one missed his almost desperate attempts to tug the kilt a little lower to hide his legs more.

Pepper capped the eyeliner and gave Tony his hat. "Well you're ready to go."

Tony gave her a quick kiss. "Thanks Pep. Now if only Cinderella will show up."

"Ah yes, but my magic endures past midnight," a voice said immediately behind him.

It was Loki in a black outfit with a white smiling mask. He was also wearing a modernized version of a 17th century conical hat.

Jane asked, "What's your costume again?"

Tony was quick to reply. "He's a letter."

Loki smirked and bowed. "Shall we?"

Pepper waved at them before they all disappeared. "Have fun."

Loki teleported them all to a quiet neighborhood with nice houses and well-kept lawns.

"Tony, this is a gated community. There's no one here," Bruce observed. He shifted the heavy prop flame thrower onto his left.

"Yeah, I know. Put on your mask, Bruce. You'll need it."

Bruce slipped on the mask. "I don't like the sound of that."

"We can't show our faces, so come on."

"What?! I thought we were going to trick or treat."

"We are!" Tony insisted. "We're just only going to one house."

Jane just wanted to get out of the costume and if one house was what's preventing that, then she was going to move this along. She took one step forward – and tripped.

"Thor! You're standing on my skirt," she hissed.

While Thor and Jane were dealing with that problem, Steve was starting to get a little cold from the chilly night air. He urged Tony, "Just go on ahead already."

"Hey, you can't order me tonight." Tony put on his leather tricorn. "I'm Captain for the day, not you."

They all awkwardly gathered at the door and Tony leaned forward to press the doorbell. He pressed it again for another six times.

It was opened by a clearly irritated man. "What the hell are you doing? And aren't you all too old for this?"

Tony turned around to face his friends. "Guys, remember that douche-bag with the BMW-Z series who cut in front of us?"

"Hypocrite," Steve coughed into his hand.

"Well I found him."

Slack-jawed, they all watched the growing smirk on Tony's face. They couldn't see it, but they knew there was an identical one on Loki's face too.

The labeled douche-bag wasn't going to take any more of this. "All of you – get off my property before I call the police!"

Loki stepped forward and asked politely, "Before we go, would you, by any chance, have any sweets?"

"The hell? No!"

Loki gave a wolfish grin behind his mask. "Well that makes one thing obvious."

Before the man could ask about it, Tony yelled, "Trick or Treat!"

* * *

AN: Guess the costumes. XD Happy Halloween. Answers are below.  
Bruce - Pyro from Team Fortress 2  
Thor - Dovahkiin from Elder Scrolls Skyrim  
Jane - Padme Amidala from Star Wars  
Natasha - Catwoman from Batman  
Clint - Robin Hood [Men in Tights]  
Steve - William Wallace from Braveheart  
Loki - V for Vendetta  
Tony - Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean  
Douchebag - as himself


End file.
